Snoozists

I have a new enemy. The well hidden, but completely un-silent kind.
Our neighbours below have some sort of bizarre resolution that they have, and continue to, fail several times daily. Infact, they fail it in fifteen-minute increments from 5:00am until around 11:45am every, single day. Most noticeably on weekends.

Our neighbours alarm clock isn’t the friendly, calm, Lionel Ritchie, KBIG 101 smooth jazz spewing kind. It is the Doomsday, run-for-shelter-air-raid variety. That almost, industrial metal on metal screech that defies any soul to ignore it. I honestly don’t know how they sleep through it, for periods into minutes, every fifteen-minute interval for hours upon hours.

At first I thought they must have been away for the weekend, yet the erratic periods between on and off, quickly removed that excuse. Shelby soon began to pound the floor with her foot. 5.15am on a Saturday is even a little early for us, particularly after
a favorable night on the red. Pretty soon a few of the neighbours became involved. A common cause if you will. Pam went so far as to go downstairs and confront them. That came after she yelled out the side window a few times. I did the same one morning around 6am. Dylan, the twenty-something unemployed, yet always benevolent (except when it came to talking to his baby’s mama on his cell phone on the sidewalk out the front) came to the door. Eyes full of sleep, a pot and meth hangover from last week’s binge hung like a flag over his body. He seemed genuinely surprised, and ofcourse, apologetic. I then realized the alarm belonged to his mum, or perhaps mum’s boyfriend. It astounded me that he could not hear it, sleeping on the couch outside the room. That was almost on year ago. The alarm continues to screech and squawk to this day, broken by fifteen-minute intervals of silence.

What is it with the SNOOZE button? It encourages only undesirable traits. Mediocrity, tardiness,, sloth. Well, that accurately summarizes the offenders. I wonder what the original design was supposed to achieve? What sort of luxury the inventor figured he had stumbled upon? Was it akin to heated towel racks or chemical glove and boot warmers? Kind of defeats the purpose of an alarm clock doesn’t it?

I now have a resolution. To permanently disable every snooze button I find on an alarm clock and to never again use one. I will lead by example and practice my crusade of common courtesy, ‘outside the box’ consideration and punctuality. This I swear to uphold, at least in fifteen-minute increments.